Over one’s time spent in college, erectile
particularly here at Ole Miss, side effects
one grows accustomed to seeing college students. Particularly, and
young and attractive college students. Several times during my tenure here, friends from other colleges or parts of the south will visit and ask me, “Good lord, how are there so many hot girls at this school?”
When surrounded by such an environment, it can be easy to overlook the great excess in which we live. And while I could wax poetic for 700 more words on how privileged I am to live in a town filled hot young sorority sisters with alcohol addictions, I’d actually like to comment on the other side of the coin.
The Mid-South Fair in Southhaven, Mississippi. Never will you find a more wretched hive of loathsome and horribly unattractive people. While local writer Neil White may have written in his new book of his time at a Louisiana lepper colony, who knew the parking lot of the DeSoto Civic center could give it a run for it’s money?
Upon entering the gates I’m greeted by a sea of universally sad and defeated faces. While I don’t consider myself anywhere close to the slender and suspiciously homoerotic models of Abercrombie and Fitch, here in DeSoto I’m at least an A-. Particularly considering my teeth are correctly aligned, I can breath through my nose, and I’m not wearing a shirt depict a wolf howling at the moon I got from the Chevron.
In a way it’s even a sort of ego boost.
Now in defense of the Mid-South Fair, to most people it would seem like a fairly average place. But I am from Oxford, and thus fall victim to a condition known as EHIS, or Excessive Hotness Isolation Syndrome. Ask any student who’s taken a trip back to their hometown or anywhere near Starkville and you’ll hear the exact same thing.
So I salute you, girl running down Jackson avenue at 6:30 in the morning as I drive to work eating a McGriddle, for keeping this town beautiful.