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Goddamino’s Pizza

July 8, 2009 by BLAKEBUCK

Kiss me, black 70's Michael.“I just wanted to say, ever since I was born, Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. And I just wanted to say, I love him so much”

As touching of a sentiment as this may have been, little Paris’ speech had lost it’s luster the 13th goddamn time I’d seen Michael Jackson’s funeral recapped. The four o’clock news, the five o’clock news, the six o’clock news. Then national recaps via NBC Nightly News and Access Hollywood.

Daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine? Really? Don’t you think your perspective is a bit limited, seeing as how he’s the only father you’ve ever had? Surely someone else is more qualified, say a troubled youth who’s bounced from foster home to foster home? You know, like the kid from Terminator 2. And he ended up saving the world. From the machines.

“So turns out you’ve got acute food poisoning. Possibly from the pepperonis on the pizza. We’re gonna prescribe you some antibiotics and send you on your way”

The doctor is a young indian guy with a stylish haircut and a no-nonsense attitude. If it weren’t for the searing stomach pain, I’d say I was on the set of the latest hospital drama. Soon he’d be telling me about the hard call he had to make between the burn victim and the suffocating child.

“Up next, Michael’s estranged wife was absent from the funeral, find out more in an uncovered lost interview”

Once something is past the prime of it’s life, it’s easy to throw rocks. Pick apart it’s flaws. Become poisoned by unhealthy thoughts.

SEX. ON. WHEELS.“If you have anymore nausea or vomiting take one pill every four hours”

But once something is truly gone, all that seems to go away. You only remember the good times. The moments that made you smile.

Then again, iGame Radio just redesigned their website. Yup. Mac gaming still sucks cock. Perhaps more now than ever. But hey,

Omaha is lookin’ hot.


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