“Do you spend most of your days alone, here remembering how great life used to be? When you had a steady job at the liquor store, rx and had everyone fooled into thinking you were going to graduate in 6 years? Back when you could tell yourself this was just a phase everyone goes through? Before your days were filled with emptiness, surgeon self-loathing, and a diet of chicken salad sandwiches to save rent money?”
“Because here at Franzia, we remember the good old days. And we think it’s high time you did something about it”
“We can’t offer you a job in the career field of your choosing, or access to a time machine so you can tell the younger version of yourself not to buy weed from that undercover cop. Hell, if we let you use a time machine you’d probably just fuck that up too”
“But what we can offer you is five litres of barely adequate wine dispensed from a plastic bladder inside a box for around ten bucks”
“And at least that’s something”
On this week’s episode:
Women. And their nonsensical intuitions.
Ben’s Hypothetical Question of the Week
Paraplegics, fair game?
Will Shirley’s Boxed Wine Review: Franzia Chillable Red
Social networking, why won’t you die?
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